You know, it’s amazing what distance can do to people. In previous blogs, I’ve mentioned my long distance relationship and how I and my boyfriend cope with it. But even we are susceptible to family obligations, vacations, work, school and numerous other things that can keep us apart even more.
In this case, it’s a twofold situation of my boyfriend currently being on a week-long cruise and I still having to go to a job I’d rather not go to 20 hours a week. While I still have contact with him online, albeit limited due to cruise internet costs, it never ceases to make me realize just how much happier I am when he’s “around.” That’s not to say my life is completely devoid of fun without him, as I’ve spent time on the web, playing games and talking with friends. But for someone who doesn’t see her boyfriend 24/7 in general, it makes the days feel longer and lonelier than ever.
I take solace in knowing he’s having fun, since I now have one cruise under my own belt to relate to. And I’m well aware I’ll see him again by the end of the week and in person next month. I suppose the feeling of comfort and security in seeing him day by day that’s now not there is what’s bothering me. People always say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but try telling that to someone who has that in-person absence nearly every day.
Missing him, when these moments come where we can’t talk, is one of the hardest things I’ve coped with in the entire time I’ve been with him. The little things like seeing his smile or hearing his laugh being absent makes more of an impact on me than he might know. And sure, maybe I’m being too overly sentimental, but darn it, I love that man and just want him home safely.
I can remember once taking for granted the amount I got to see him on a daily basis, until he first had to leave home for a long-ish period of time. Since then, I’ve gained more and more appreciation for what we have as it is. We will always strive for better and wanting to live together some day, but until then, when these lonely moments pop up, I’ll be missing him.